Brian Harding

Known Aliases: Dumpster Baby, Dewey Baby, DB

The survivor of two prom night abortions, dumpster baby managed to crawl out of the trashcan of the Eastside Palmdale girls locker room and into an Arby’s dumpster out back.  After an early morning drop off, D.B. managed to eat his way out of the dumpster and sneak into a parked Kosher Foods delivery truck.  His years as an apprentice to the rabbi-in-training truck driver piqued his curiosity to see the outside world.  His first semite acquaintance was an out-of-work Scottish janitor begging for change outside the Jericho county Temple.   His new friend Fraser weaned Dumpster on stolen root beer from the local elementary school which hadn’t changed its locks since firing him six months prior.  Though lightning quick, his root-beer and grade D-meat based diet as a child robbed him of any necessary nutrients, resulting in matchstick bones.